I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
