I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
