my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.