i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
