got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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