Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
