The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
