I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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