I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
