don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize