we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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