but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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