oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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