As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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