You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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