she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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