Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
