Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
