I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
