all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
