Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
