'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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