No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
