I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
