I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
