I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
