There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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