Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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