Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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