I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
