there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
