Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this just has baby written all over it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
