I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Pappa wants mamma naked
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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