We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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