I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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