im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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