Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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