you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
