Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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