I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
