oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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