O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
