I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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