I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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