1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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