question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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