3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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