Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
