At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
