please come you make the beer taste better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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