He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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