I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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