I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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