i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
