do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
