tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
