Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
