Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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