Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
